1.         My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn’t concentrate.

2.         Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3.         After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4.         Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5.         Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.

6.         I attemp ted to be a Deli Worker, but any  way I sliced it I couldn’t cut the mustard.

7.         My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.

8.         I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.

9.         Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn’t fit in.

10.       I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

11.       I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12.       So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

13.       After many years of trying to find steady work! , I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14.       My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

15.       SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!