I have actually found this in my inbox twice.

‘Eraptions’ a la Gloria

BY Regina Bengco & Jocelyn Montemayor

PRESIDENT Arroyo styles herself as fluent in many languages and dialects. She speaks Spanish and delivers speeches in Ilocano up North and Chabacano down South.

Unfortunately, this has not helped her become a good communicator with the masses.

In an effort to connect with the common folk, she translates her speeches and statements from English to Filipino. However, some of her translations are so literal that they end up evoking images that range from funny to outrageous.

Consider our top five favorite “translations” from her speeches, interviews, and pronouncements:

* “Mag-impok ng kuryente at gasolina” (variation, “Mag-impok ng enerhiya”).

Intended meaning: “Save/conserve electricity and gasoline.”

Unintended meaning: “Hoard electricity and gasoline.”

She should have used the word “magtipid” because “mag-impok” commonly means to deposits(as in a bank account). The statement was made in an interview with DZRH’s Joe Taruc at the height of the energy conservation campaign.

* “Inutusan ko na si (Pagcor official) at si (MWSS official) upang magkaroon ng tubig ang inyong mga pipa.”

Intended meaning: “I have ordered (Pagcor official) and (MWSS official) to ensure that there is water in your pipes.”

She should have used the word “tubo” (water pipe) instead of “pipa” (tobacco pipe). The pronouncement was made during a Patubig project in Quezon City shortly before the campaign period in 2004.

* “Napaikot na natin ang ekonomiya.” Intended meaning: “We have turned the economy around.”

Unintended meaning: “We have played around with the economy.”

The statement was made sometime in 2003 during one of her regular Saturday radio addresses. A variation, “Sana’y mapaikot na natin ang ekonomiya,” was part of her 2005 Easter message.

* “Nakakalbong dagat”

Intended meaning: “Depleted marine resources.” The word “nakakalbo” means “denuded” and is used to describe mountains or forest cover. The term was part of Arroyo’s speech on the first day of the campaign in 2004 in Laguna.

Sen. Noli de Castro, her running mate, could not help but laugh out loud.

* “Trangkasong ibon” Intended meaning: “Bird flu.”

This was part of her departure speech for the APEC summit in November 2005.

There’s more:

* Buto ng ekonomiya at dugo ng komersyo – Backbone of the economy and lifeblood of commerce

* Imprastrakturang mang-aaliw ng mamumuhunan – Infrastructure that would attract investors

* Matipunong palatuntunang pambansa na sumisikat sa Silangan – Literally “strong national agenda rising in the East” also “dawning strong national agenda.”

* Yungib ng terorismo – Enclave of terrorism

* Masusing elemento – Key element

* Lumipad na presyo – Soaring prices

* Sana ay magkatotoo ang inyong mga panaginip - May your dreams come true

* Walang iniligtas - No one is spared.

* Malakas na diin – Strong emphasis

* Lumuluhang ekonomiya - Bleeding(?) economy

* Palengke – (Stock) market

* Bukas na daang pandagat – Vulnerable sea lanes

* Kumplot-kumplot/kumplot-plot – Coup plot

* Mañoñog – Coconut farmer

* Pañañari (variation, mañañari/nañañari) – Event

* Kailangan natin ng malawak na pangharap para sa seguridad ng rehiyon – We need a broader front for the security of the region.